Let Difficult People Win

http://www.aneliasutton.com

If you’ve ever  been around someone who talks too much or is incredibly stubborn or worse, loves to argue then you know how difficult life can be if you have to deal with them on a regular basis.  Whether they’re controlling, critical, or just plain ol’ cranky, the behaviors that make someone a difficult person tend to spark frequent confrontations—and it is highly unlikely to influence these people.  Let’s face it, they’re set in their ways and nothing you do or say will get them to change their mind.  If you find yourself wrestling with them to get a word in edgewise, it’s time to quit. If  you struggle to change their mind about anything, stop it.

Even if you can outwit them or have enough material with a barrage of new points and counterpoints into the arguments, it’s time to let it go. Stop trying and simply move on because at the end of exchange, the difficult person remains the same. But you’ve spent an un-godly amount of energy spinning and spent only to find yourself in a weaker position.  When I learned to let go of my desire to ‘win’ by imposing my will on the other person I was able to improve communication with difficult people.

When you find yourself with no choice but to interact with a difficult person, implement what I call  the “Lolly” —short for lolly dolly– simply lolly through the encounter by having modest expectations, and remain focused on the end result.  It’s really all you can do. Otherwise, you’ll get yourself all worked up for nothing.  Let them “win” the argument.  It’s a sign of your strength. Plus, we have better things to do with our lives.

Source: Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counter-intuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life by Geoffrey Tumlin

Song of the Day: Real Girl by Mutya Buena


Mutya Buena Real Girl by offuhuge

 

Lyrics to Real Girl by Mutya Buena

If I had one chance to
In my life again
I wouldn’t make no changes
Now or way back when (yeah)
And if everything turns out
The way I hope it goes
But I cant wait to find out
What it is that God knows

But I don’t wanna think about
What’s gonna come around for me
I’ll just take it day by day
‘Cause it’s the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I’m not
You get what you see, when you see what I’ve got
We live in the real world, I’m just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don’t need permission from nobody else
‘Cause this is the real world, I’m not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

And nothing’s ever perfect
There’s no guarantee
And if I knew the answers
It would put my mind at ease (no)
So I’ll just keep on going
The way I’ve gone so far
And maybe I’ll end up
Tryin’ to catch a fallin star (yeah)

But I don’t wanna think about
What’s gonna come around for me
I’ll just take it day by day
‘Cause it’s the only way
To be the best that I can be

I never pretend to be something I’m not
You get what you see, when you see what I’ve got
We live in the real world, I’m just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don’t need permission from nobody else
‘Cause this is the real world, I’m not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

Baby this is who I am
Don’t need you to understand
‘Cause everything is right where it should be
It wont be long til you know about me,
‘Cause I don’t give a…
Even when I’m out of love
‘Cause everythings just how it should be
And it wont be long till you know about me

I never pretend to be something I’m not
You get what you see, when you see what I’ve got
We live in the real world, I’m just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don’t need permission from nobody else
‘Cause this is the real world, I’m not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

I never pretend to be something I’m not
You get what you see, when you see what I’ve got
We live in the real world, I’m just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

And all I can do is be true to myself
I don’t need permission from nobody else
‘Cause this is the real world, I’m not a little girl
I know exactly who I am

Source: http://www.slack-time.com/music-video-2506-Mutya-Buena-Real-Girl#S1dceqS0DiyS7RpR.99

Make Love Not Porn

couple

 

Real married couples sharing videos of their lovemaking? Yes, they are. And it’s a growing trend. Hey, allow me to go on record to say I wouldn’t do it. I meant the video, silly. My husband is a whole ‘nother story (wink wink).  Just saying.

But if we’re going to see sex available everywhere, and it is, then at least this display of how couples really make love is better than porn. Sadly, most boys become men who still believe the porn they watch is real.   If they’re watch then maybe this is a better alternative to the adult “entertainment” industry.

 

 

Letter to Rhythm and Blues Music

music-wedding-ring

 

Dear R&B,

My dear friend, I love you so it’s time that I come clean with you about something important.  This is not going to be easy for you to hear because it’s about your marriage to RAP.  Honey, he’s just not good enough for you.  You need to go your way and leave RAP music alone.  No one will fault you for trying to make it work.  I know you did your best to make it work but it just wasn’t meant to be.  Besides, you’re better off without him because he’s full of CRAP anyway.  As newlyweds, when he had nothing, you helped him by lending your gifts and talent because you took your union seriously.  But ever since you gave him an inch, he took the whole damn mile. Now he is the nerve to act as if you don’t even exist anymore.  He’s an ungrateful piece of bat-poop. It’s shameful and blatant disrespect and you don’t have to take that from him anymore. So yes, I’m saying it’s time for you to file the divorce papers and when the dust settles, you’ll start over again.  You have millions of people in your corner so you’re not alone. You’ll find there is still strength in numbers and your supporters will be your strength while you re-build your own strength.

When you return to your roots you will see how much sweeter your life can be.  It will be a long road back, but you will get there if you just hold on to your integrity. Sooner than later you will  begin to realize that by embracing your soul-stirring, finger-snapping, positive music you will give birth to a new crop of entertainers who care about the message they produce . We’ve all made our share of mistakes in the past but as long as you know you are not alone… you have legions of people who love you and are waiting for your true purpose to emerge in our time and for the next generation.

You lost your were for a spell but now it’s time for you to remember who you are –not on the surface –but instead,  buried deep down inside where your truth reside. You are meant to build, inspire, elevate, and give joy to your family and those who loved you from the beginning until today.  We’ve been waiting patiently and prayed for your return.

Also, I’d like to make a few suggestions for your future without RAP. I’m not trying to tell you what to do but can you ask the entertainers to start dressing professionally for us.  I would love to see a nice dress on the women instead of them wearing dental floss and masquerading on the stage as if it was a strip club with their legs spread wide open. And while you’re at it can you please ask the men to wear a suit and tie instead of jumping onto the stage with the same shirt they wore to bed.  Since our love and support provide them with the lavish lifestyle they can afford to buy a new outfit. Besides, it’s the least they can do for us. We deserve more than the skimpy, raggedy pieces of material they call clothing.  Before I forget, can consider, even for a moment the idea of using children as entertainers? Most adults have a hard time dealing with the pressure of performing so you should allow children to enjoy they’re time as kids.  The entertainment business can wait.

So that’s all I had to say for now.  Take care and good luck with your decision.  I know you’ll do the right thing and I promise you, your fans won’t let you down, R&B. We love you and want the best for you.

Hey, speaking of pure music with substance, here is a beautifully soulful song from your loyal friend Amel Larrieux called “Berries and Cream”.  It’s a jazzy groovy song about love, imagine that!?!  Please take note of the lovely red dress that doesn’t distract from the her beautiful voice.  She can actually leave the stage and go right into an interview without the need to grab a robe to cover up.  Anyway, I know you’re going to be busy with all the changes needed so I’ll get out of your hair for you to begin the process of renewal.  Just breathe and allow the healing process to begin.

I love you and I hope to hear from you soon.  Stay strong!

Always from the Heart,

A

Berries and Cream by Amel Larrieux will begin at 2:10. Here is the direct link http://youtu.be/6-c7wSgaQpU?t=2m10s